To my son donnelly, we did not abandon you

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Your real Mommy and Daddy fought to keep you. We went to jail for rescuing you from foster care where you were being hurt. That was the last time you knowingly saw us. We know how sad and lonely that must have been when they took us away and then took you away. It seems like everything we did was wrong or it was fate and you were meant to be the Ratkoski's son, not ours. I know they have taken excellent care of you but I believe they should have allowed you to know we were ok and that we did not abandon you. You deserved to know the real story and not be told we were dead. We miss you more than you can possibly imagine now because you don't remember us anymore. Someday we will all be together again, you, me, your Daddy, your sisters Alex and Kayla, your brothers, Billy, Stephen and Christopher, and your Aunt Cindy. We pray everyday to be blessed with His grace and be united.

This site is dedicated to you, for all that you went through. You lost your entire family when you were too young to comprehend what was happening. It must have been so hard not having a clue as to why you were taken from us and put in foster care where you were so lonely and confused. That thought still tears me up inside so bad. All of the people involved in your kidnapping should be put in jail like your dad and I had to endure for taking you back. The love your Dad and I have for you is inmeasurable, we risked our freedom to rescue you from being abused in foster care. Social workers do not care about kids in foster care. They cover up the abuse yet, they will rush in and steal you from your home for an imaginary "risk of  neglect". For a paycheck, they tear families apart, putting children through an overwhelming amount of aniexty and sadness. That is far worse than supposedly being "at risk". You were never abused, neglected, or "at risk" of neglect. Never. You were loved and well cared for. You have two sisters, Kayla and Alex, and three brothers, Billy, Stephen, and Christopher, who love you just as much as your Dad and I. Steven tried really hard to get you placed with him, so did your Aunt Cindy. They were both denied due to your placement with your current family. Social services gets adoption incentives (money) for every adoption so that is what they did. When our rights were terminated, two of the social workers involved in your kidnapping, Antoine Coley and Amanda Spratley, jumped up and hugged each other in the courtroom like they won the lottery or something!

The only thing that makes this whole experience good, if one was to have to find something positive from this horific loss, is that your new family has been extremely loving and have provided you a higher quality of life than your Dad and I could afford. Not that we were always poor, we lost everything fighting for you but Jon and Kristin provided you stability and security. They have kept you safe even if the threat wasn't real. It's not all their fault, they were told bad things about us and were scared of me due to some mean looks I gave Kristin in court trying to discourage her from wanting to keep you. That was a big mistake. I have made some mistakes but that doesn't make me unfit to be a parent. Maybe Jon and Kristin did not make the same kind of mistakes but that doesn't make them better parents however, it is my opinion now that they are/were better parents in the long run, looking at the overall picture and for that, I am very grateful. 

If you happen to find this site please contact me. Someday, after you turn 18 I would really love to see you and hug you. The thought of that makes me cry and I think of doing that every day of my life. If you don't want to, I understand. Coming to terms with knowing all this happened won't be easy and you might prefer to just forget about it. I don't want to make your life harder or confusing. But I believe if you do accept it, it will benefit your life and fill that empty space in your heart you don't know why you feel, I mean the emptiness you had even before Kristin passed away. 

Love, Mommy

Dear Donnelly,

You are 17 now. It's been 13 years since you were kidnapped. I see you have a LinkedIn page. I am so very proud of you! So, you want to be a pilot? Your real Dad got his pilot's license in 2006. He even jumped out of a plane once. I remember when he was learning to fly. We lived in Hemet and he would take off from French Valley Airport and fly to Hemet for touch-and-goes. He flew right over our house! I knew it was him because he would do something that made the engine sound change.

You said in your profile that you have been fascinated with airplanes since the first time you went on one. Do you know when that was? It was when CPS flew to Arizona and brought you back to California. That was the 3rd time they kidnapped you. I think I remember Antoine Coley writing in his report how fascinated you were with the airplane. Thinking of that makes me so sad.

There are many things we want to explain to you. I pray everyday that you accept my connection request on LinkedIn. I don't know if Jon still monitors your internet activity, if he does then he is still treating you like a child rather than the man you have grown up to be. But whatever. I'm thankful that he never had to experience the heartache of losing a child to a corrupt system based on perjury and falsified evidence. But he did lose his wife, Kristin. That must have been extremely painful. I see he is now remarried, it appears as though they are a perfect fit and they are happy and in love. That's great for you and Cassie too. Did you know that Cassie was kidnapped at birth and never knew her real parents? But Jon and Kristin filled in as wonderful parents, it's just a shame for the biological parents but I do not know what excuse CPS used to steal her.

I have always known where you lived and your Dad and I would often visit your neighborhood on Halloween. Two years in a row we actually trick-or-treated with you, unbeknownst to Jon or Kristin. You and I, right along side each other! There was no threat of us kidnapping you or else we would have done it. We were thankful just to see you and spend time with you. It could have been like that the entire time if Jon had just given us a chance to show him how you could have had the best of both worlds. But he was doing the programmed thing, he really couldn't help it and we understand and forgive him for it. 

My heart is still bleeding, if you would contact me it would sew up the hole that it bleeds from unless, of course, you prefer not to then I would have to respect your wishes. As your biological Mom, if you could even tell me no, that would relieve the wonder. If the answer is no, I could move on and not dream of seeing you again every day of my life as I love you with every fiber of my being and hold on to this hope.

Love, Mommy

There's more on my  YouTube channel. 

https://www.youtube.com/@BlondE0DJ